50/50
On December 31, 2020, I started having very painful cramps. I drove home from work as fast as I could, took some Ibuprofen, laid on a heating pad and went to sleep as soon as I got my 6-month-old daughter down for the night.
The next morning the pain was still there. I took some Tylenol and tried to rest. The pain was getting progressively worse. Because it was New Year’s Day, my OBGYN office was closed. I called the walk-in clinic and was told it was likely just period cramps and because of the holiday there were no ultrasound techs onsite. They told me that if my pain gets worse, I’ll need to go to the ER.
An hour or so later I couldn’t stand unassisted. I started vomiting. My husband and I decided I needed to go to the hospital.
My husband put our daughter in her car seat, and we headed to the hospital. Because of Covid protocols they were not permitted to go inside. I staggered in and tried to get registered. I was alone, in excruciating pain, vomiting into the trashcan in the corner. I waited.
The nurses asked the date of my last period. I told them I wasn’t sure. I was breastfeeding and had not had a regular period since I had given birth. They ran a pregnancy test, and it was positive. I was confused, scared, still in a lot of pain, and again alone. It took three different pain medications to give me some relief.
I recognized one of the nurses as a high school & college classmate of my husband’s, who helped me get situated with my pump. She stored and delivered the milk I was pumping from the hospital bed to the parking lot, so my husband could feed our daughter. Once my pain was under control I was sent for an ultrasound.
After the ultrasound, I was told there was a 50% chance this was a viable intrauterine pregnancy and 50% chance that it was ectopic but regardless, there was over a liter of blood in my abdomen. I was going to need surgery to terminate the non-viable pregnancy ASAP.
Once on-call OB finally arrived, I was prepped for surgery with little information on what the outcome would be. I was so scared. In the span of a mere few hours, I was at home on a heating pad thinking I was having period cramps- to being told I was pregnant -to then realize I was losing another baby. This was my fourth pregnancy. In my first pregnancy I had a TFMR, shortly after I experienced a miscarriage, had my daughter, and was now experiencing an ectopic pregnancy. I was in shock. Was I going to die leaving my husband with a 6-month-old baby girl to care for alone?
I lost one of my fallopian tubes during surgery. I was told by the on-call OB that this would increase my chances of future ectopic pregnancy, but I should still be able to have children since one fallopian tube and my ovaries were saved.
While my OBGYN told me I shouldn't have lingering fertility issues after this experience, there are increased odds of a recurrent ectopic pregnancy. As someone who has been on the wrong end of statistics 3/4 pregnancies now any increased odds are scary. With the overturn of Roe vs Wade and living in a red state with a trigger law, this adds to the "what if" scenarios my family is forced to consider. What if a future pregnancy has a lethal diagnosis that does not harm my life? Would I be able to travel hundreds of miles for a TFMR? What if I have another ectopic pregnancy? Will my remaining fallopian tube be saved? Would I lose the ability to carry future children overnight? Will the doctor be able to save me in time? Will I die because of a technicality? Will a lawyer determine just how in danger my life is?
~Amber Frye
