Strength Is

Strength is going to pick up fertility meds and walking past pregnant women with their freshly printed sonograms, women with their new babies

Strength is trying again after loss

Strength is trying again after a big fat negative

Strength is loving your friend's children and keeping your painful desires separated

Strength is making that first appointment with the specialist

Strength is getting pricked with a needle over and over

Strength is watching pregnancy announcements flood your social media and still feeling joy for them simultaneously with the crippling pain that has become part of your life

Strength is being alone in that ER with overwhelming fear

Strength is hearing "I’m sorry there’s no heartbeat"

Strength is going in for surgeries/procedures hoping it helps

Strength is getting your period

Strength is seeing your partner's heart break each month and wiping their tears, hugging them tight, trying not to feel like you're responsible

Strength is having bad days and waking up the next day in hopes for a better one

Strength is telling someone you're not okay

Strength is knowing you'll never have a "normal" pregnancy

Strength is saying "when I was pregnant" with no children

Strength is knowing it's way more complicated than "just don't stress"

Strength is feeling angry, lost, worthless, broken and sitting with it

Strength is remembering who you were before infertility

Strength is knowing your path to motherhood is a marathon

Strength is not comparing your path to motherhood to other's paths

Strength is hearing all the advice knowing they are just trying to help

Strength is remembering it’s not your fault

Strength is knowing you aren't any less of a woman than the fertile ones

Strength is knowing your partner didn't choose you strictly to start a family

Strength is showing up for your pregnant friends

Strength is giving yourself grace

Strength is crying

Strength is continuing on each day to do your best

Strength is the belief that someday you will get that rainbow

Strength is infertility.

Sometimes it's easy to feel like we aren't strong when we are dealt difficulties, but it's actually quite the opposite. You are strong.

 ~Alyssa Kohut