No Bullshit Motherhood
No bullshit motherhood. Did you know I have a platform called that?
I hate bullshit.
My journey to motherhood was non-traditional. What even is traditional?
The photo below is me in labor at Cedars-Sinai in LA with Tibetan singing bowls on my belly (@healwithsounds) after I’d had an epidural.
You know I was getting that epidural.
A couple years prior I’d hemorrhaged in The Berkshires with an ectopic (thank you @katiejdevine for taking me to ER) & I knew I never needed to feel pain like that again.
I didn’t think I wanted kids. I was ambivalent. (Let’s talk about this more!)
I’d had an ectopic & was relieved. It was complicated: grief & relief.
I thought a DEEP KNOWING would come whether I wanted kids or did not & I turned 40 AND NOTHING CAME. I was still ambivalent.
I was pregnant again at 40 (only 2x were my husband & I not “careful” & both times pregnant.
There was something possibly genetically “wrong” with the baby. I saw my sister ( @rachelpastiloff ) & how hard it is with a disabled child & I was clear I would terminate.
I share this especially in light of what’s going on now in our country. (Follow @votemamaus please.)
I was 40, husband older. No money & no family nearby.
I knew what my CHOICE would be. Needless to say, baby was okay.
I didn’t think I’d have kids & yet my son is the best most magical thing that ever happened in my life. (Might’ve been the bowls @healwithsounds)
(There’s so much we can’t predict. Oh, life.).
